Animal Jokes in Text

ANIMALS WITH SMARTS

Q: What’s the smartest animal?

A: A fish because they stay in schools!

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WHALE THAT’S FUNNY

Q: Why did the whale cross the street?

A: To get to the other tide.

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HACKERS BEWARE

My email password has been hacked. That’s the third time I’ve had to rename the cat.

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MONEY STINKS

Q: How much money does a skunk have?
A: One scent!

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BUG PLUS BIRD

  1. What do you get when you cross a centipede with a parrot?
  2. A walkie-talkie!

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PISCES PLUS PACHYDERM

  1. What do you get when you cross a fish with an elephant?
  2. Swimming trunks!

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THIS LITTLE DOG WENT TO THE MARKET

Q: What type of market should you NEVER take your dog?

A: A flea market!

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DOG BREEDS

Q: Which dog breed is guaranteed to laugh at all of your jokes?

A: A Chi-ha-ha!

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MATH FOR OWLS

Q: What kind of math do owls like?

A: Owlgebra

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OVER-CAFFEINATED KANGAROO

Q: Why did the kangaroo stop drinking coffee?

A: She got too jumpy!

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SO MUCH FOR PACKING LIGHT

Q: Why did the baby elephant need a new suitcase for her vacation?

A: She only had a little trunk.

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IF HIPPOS COULD TALK

Hippo 1: You look like you’re gaining weight.

Hippo 2: That’s very hippo-critical of you.

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ASTRO FISH

Q: Where are fish in orbit?

A: In trout-er space

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ELEPHANT FOR HIRE

Q: Why didn’t the elephant get the job he wanted?

A: His qualifications were completely irrelephant.

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HOPE YOU’RE NOT LACTOSE INTOLERANT

  1. Q: If you have 15 cows and 5 goats what would you have?

A: Plenty of milk!

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THE HARDEST WORKING CHICKEN YOU’LL EVER MEET

Q: How long do chickens work?

A: Around the cluck!