What did the patient with the broken leg say to their doctor?
Hey doc, I have a crutch on you.
Why should you never break up with a goalie?
Because he is a keeper.
Do you have a date for Valentine’s Day?
Yes, it is February 14th.
What happened when the two vampires went on a blind date?
It was love at first bite.
What did one boat say to the other?
Are you up for a little row-mance?
Why should you not marry a tennis player?
Because love means nothing to them.
What’s the difference between love and marriage?
Love is blind. Marriage is an eye-opener.
I was in the shop looking for a jacket to buy my girlfriend as a present.
I couldn’t decide which one to get, so I asked the salesman, “If you were buying a jacket for your girlfriend, which one would you get?
He said, “A bulletproof one. I’m married.”
I said, “I love you so much. I could never live without you.”
My girlfriend giggled and asked, “Is that you talking or the beer?”
I said, “It’s me talking to the beer…”
Olive you, and I don’t care who knows it.